Mental Score-Lines and Red Cards: A Totally Honest Review of the 25/26 Champions League Matchday One

Mental Score-Lines and Red Cards: A Totally Honest Review of the 25/26 Champions League Matchday One

The Champions League is back, and the opening night sure didn't disappoint.

We had an eight-goal thriller in Turin, an Azerbaijani comeback that has gifted Jose Mourinho a new job, English teams hitting the ground running, and so much more.

Let's break down each game from last night's action as Europe's top competition came back with a bang.

Juventus 4–4 Borussia Dortmund - Our Lord and Saviour Lloyd Kelly

It has been a testing week for those of a Juventus persuasion in terms of their heart rate. First, winning 4-3 in an all-time classic against Inter Milan at the weekend, and then twice coming from behind to rescue a point in the crazy 4-4 draw against Borussia Dortmund last night.

Dortmund was 4-2 up and sailing as the game ticked over into stoppage time before Dusan Vlahovic and Newcastle legend Lloyd Kelly both scored in a chaotic two-minute spell, sending the Old Lady into raptures.

The scriptwriters were working overtime in this clash, as fans on X were quick to point out that the last time Juventus drew 4-4 in a European game was against German opposition. On that night 25 years ago, two of the goal scorers were in the dugouts last night. Wild.

Last time Juventus played 4-4 in the Champions League, it was also against a German team. And funnily enough, both current managers Niko Kovač & Igor Tudor even scored in that game. pic.twitter.com/CfQ1cY4Qgl

— 𝗙𝗜𝗔𝗚𝗢 (@fiago7) September 16, 2025

Real Madrid 2–1 Marseille - Mbappe To The Rescue

Los Blancos lined up against Marseille without both Jude Bellingham and Vinicius Jr., and the young stars were soon depleted further when Trent Alexander-Arnold limped off just five minutes into his Madrid Champions League debut.

Marseille, looking like an Ultimate Team starter squad with the likes of Kondogbia, Aubamayeng, Hojberg and Pavard all starting, took a shock first-half lead through Tim Weah.

Regular service was resumed in the second half when Madrid was awarded two penalties - the second of which was questionable to say the least - which were duly slotted away by Kylian Mbappe.

Mbappé up to joint-sixth 👀#UCL pic.twitter.com/Qs8YsgMp0A

— UEFA Champions League (@ChampionsLeague) September 17, 2025

Dani Carvajal decided to make Xabi Alonso's right-back dilemma just that little bit harder when he headbutted the Marseille keeper with 15 minutes to play.

Athletic Club 0–2 Arsenal - Gunners' Super Subs Steal The Win

Mikel Arteta's clean sheet machines did what they did best and ground out an opening day victory in the Basque Country, without setting the world alight.

The Gunners were lambasting their squad depth last season, and after a summer of spending, many think there is no excuse not to bring some silverware to the red half of North London. Last night proved why depth is so crucial, as both goals came from the bench.

72'—Trossard assists Martinelli
87'—Martinelli assists Trossard

Arsenal's substitutes getting it done 👊 pic.twitter.com/BtiGpBdYmd

— B/R Football (@brfootball) September 16, 2025

Gabriel Martinelli broke through just moments after coming on and slotted home, and then Leandro Trossard rounded out the result late in the day.

Unremarkable, but got the job done.

Benfica 2–3 Qarabağ - A Great Night For Azerbaijan and Mourinho

This game may not have been watched en masse on these shores, but more fool us, as a classic was played out. Benfica were 2-0 up in the first 16 minutes and cruising to victory against the Azerbaijani minnows. Until Qarabağ slowly started to silence the Estadio da Luz.

Colombian forward Camilo Duran assisted the first, and then scored the second, before substitute Oleksii Kashchuk completed the turnaround.

Qarabağ came from two goals down to beat Benfica 3-2 and become the first Azerbaijani side to win a Champions League game outside of qualifying 🇦🇿 pic.twitter.com/Ufx6LoY92H

— B/R Football (@brfootball) September 16, 2025

Not only did Qarabağ cost Benfica opening night points, but it also cost Bruno Lage his job. And in true Jose Mourinho style, just a matter of weeks since losing his job in Turkey for not getting Champions League football, he is now the favourite for the Benfica job.

Who doesn't want Mourinho in the Champions League?

Tottenham 1–0 Villarreal - Frank's Men Off The Mark

Oh, to be a fly on the wall at Tottenham in the past few months.

Ange wins the Europa League, Ange gets sacked. Finish 17th, get Champions League football. The Levy Out brigade finally got their wish. And a transfer window with more rollercoasters than Alton Towers.

Their opening Champions League game had substantially less drama, and new manager Thomas Frank was probably thrilled with that fact.

5 played
4 wins
1 goal conceded

What a start for Thomas Frank 🇩🇰🤍 pic.twitter.com/ciOdjzNVvl

— Alex 𝓕𝓪𝓷 (@xAlexTHFC) September 16, 2025

An early Villarreal goalkeeping blunder gave Spurs the lead, and that was pretty much it from this one. Just one shot on target across the whole match. But three points and a sunken yellow submarine.

PSV Eindhoven 1–3 Union Saint-Gilloise - A Shock Belgian Triumph in Eindhoven

Union St. Gilloise have only come into the public consciousness in the past few seasons as they have begun to be consistently involved in European action, and they are quietly going about their business very well.

A trip to Eredivisie champions PSV would not be high on any club's wish list. With the Dutch side scoring 103 league goals last term, they're a scary prospect.

POWERFUL. RESILIENT. TRIUMPHANT. ‍😤#PSVUSG #UCL pic.twitter.com/Yk31iEbTPA

— Royale Union Saint-Gilloise (@UnionStGilloise) September 16, 2025

USG clearly didn't read this script, however, and with a perfectly executed counter-attacking game plan, the Belgian side were 2-0 up at the break. Kevin MacAllister (not that one) added a third towards the end, meaning Ruben van Bommel's consolation goal at the death did nothing to cheer up the Eindhoven faithful.

If that's what the first night of the tournament delivers, we cannot wait to see what is in store between now and the final in May.