We Don’t Always Want to Laugh at Spurs… But Fuck Me, They Make It Easy to Do

Another Defeat, No Direction, But At Least You Scored a Goal...

There was a point in time when Spurs losing a football game would have the majority of London, and a significant chunk of the country, jumping for joy, taking the micky on socials, and experiencing a general feeling of schadenfreude.

For some, those days are now long gone – those feelings of jubilation and pleasure at a Tottenham defeat have in recent years been replaced with a confusing combination of empathy and lack of surprise. Not for me, though. As a Chelsea fan, Spurs' failure never fails to improve my mood.

Yes, the stats tell you that Roberto De Zerbi's men had the better of the game against Liverpool in their 3-1 Carabao Cup defeat last night. More passes, more possession, more attempts, a higher XG – everything suggested that Spurs should be on the right side of that scoreline.

🚨Tottenham are actually allergic to scoring goals this season

Lucas Bergvall missed a sitter in their EFL Cup match vs Liverpool pic.twitter.com/HbbQwRMWIX

— Polymarket Sports (@PolymarketSport) September 15, 2026

But three phenomenal Liverpool finishes, and yet more shocking, Spurs organisation saw them extend their competitive winless streak to four, dumped out of the cup in unceremonious fashion, and left them questioning their ever more blurry direction with more concern than ever.

Struggling Spurs

It wasn’t for a lack of trying that Spurs failed to win. 17 shots and an XG of 2.33 illustrate that they posed plenty of threat to the Liverpool goal.

The issue is that these numbers came as a result of who they were playing against. Even though Liverpool in theory sounds like one of the highest-calibre opponents remaining in the competition, the truth was that Spurs faced their B-team, one that included Trey Nyoni, Rio Ngumoha, James McConnell and Lewis Koumas.

Though Liverpool brought on the big dogs of Ryan Gravenberch, Dominik Szoboszlai, Bradley Barcola and Alexander Isak on and after the 60-minute mark, Spurs had a huge chunk of the game against far less experienced players and, given the quality of their own starting XI, should have pressed home their advantage.

Though they also fielded a rotated XI, the personnel coming in were far from short of experience, with the likes of Tosin Adarabioyo, Martin Dubravka, Destiny Udogie and Rodrigo Bentancur (among others) more than capable of taking on a bunch of academy graduates and perfectly acceptable replacements for the likes of Sandro Tonali, Mateus Fernandes and Andy Robertson, who were being rested.

And yet for one reason or another, they simply failed to click. Both Bergvall and Kudus passed up fabulous first-half chances, both failing to find the net, while Giorgi Mamardashvili in the Liverpool net had one of the games of his life, which included pulling off a blinding save as Spurs pushed for an equaliser late in the game.

MAMARDASHVILI! 🤯

Liverpool's goalkeeper keeps his side in front with an incredible stop! 🧤#ITVFootball | @Carabao_Cup pic.twitter.com/WWr5sXfhsF

— ITV Football (@itvfootball) September 15, 2026

When they lost the ball, Spurs looked most disorganised. Whenever they were caught in transition, those tracking back looked at sixes and sevens, as if unsure who to mark or which man to follow.

It was this indecision that allowed Liverpool their trio of goals, as the apparent lack of familiarity with their defensive roles allowed red shirts plenty of space around the edge of the area. It was from here that Liverpool punished them, and it took just 21 minutes for Spurs to be harshly warned, as Alexis Mac Allister arrowed a sweetly timed first-time effort into the top corner of Dubravka’s goal.

Spurs failed to heed the warning, and six minutes into the second half, Gakpo doubled the home side's lead with a powerful finish into the corner from a tight angle, cutting in beautifully onto that venomous right boot.

Spurs did manage to actually score a goal, their first against a Premier League this season, with 22 minutes remaining, as a rare Mamardashvili misjudgement allowed Conor Gallagher to head home from a corner.

However, though De Zerbi threw his men forward and brought his big names off the bench, you never got the feeling that Spurs would actually get their equaliser, and though Marmoush forced the aforementioned world-class save out of Mamardashvili with five minutes remaining, that was as close as Spurs would get.

The nail was subsequently put in the coffin in the most devastating way imaginable, as Szboszlai, still relatively fresh following his late introduction, decided to have a pop from around 30 yards and subsequently launched a heat-seeking missile of a half volley into the top corner, securing Liverpool’s berth in the next round.

THAT'S MAGNIFICENT! 💥🔴

Outrageous strike from Dominik Szoboszlai 👏👏👏 pic.twitter.com/meQ7nilsz6

— Sky Sports Football (@SkyFootball) September 15, 2026

It was typical of Tottenham – 90 minutes of admirable endeavour and painstaking effort, only to be undone by moments of brilliance that seemed to take no endeavour at all. It truly was the spursiest of spursy defeats.

De Zerbi is now on the clock – though he may have helped Spurs to survival last season, he has seen his side net in just two of their six games this season and, worst still, has guided them back to their now familiar 17th place position.

His tactics are easy on the eye, but their primary purpose is to get results, and right now, the Italian’s strategy is doing anything but that. Facing Villa, Man United and Chelsea in their next four fixtures, there is no rest for the wicked. If De Zerbi is going to save his job, it’s going to have to be the hard way.

Look on the bright side, though Spurs fans – at least you scored a goal!