Remember David Luiz? He Now Plays in Cyprus With a Condom Around his Head

Go Johnny, Go, Go

Saw this post come up on the timeline and I must say it gave me a bit of chuckle.

David Luiz is 39, He now plays in Cyrpus with a condom wrapped around his head. 🇧🇷

How is your Friday! 😂 pic.twitter.com/TxXlAo4Qlk

— The Footy Feed (@TheFootyFeed) July 3, 2026

Either that headband is outrageously too tight for him, or he's unlocked a level of hard thought hither-to unheard of.

But alas, yes. At the ripe age of 39, the well-loved defender Luiz (unless you're an Arsenal fan) is still plying his trade over in Cyprus by way of Paphos, who have been flying up the European ranks since their inception as a merge between AEP Paphos and AEK Kouklia back in 2014, just 12 years ago.

They are backed by some serious money as well - they are backed by Russian businessman Roman Dubov who made the papers for an attempted nine-figure takeover of French club St. Etienne some years back and is also the CEO of Total Sports Investments. As such, there have been a few names that have been playing for Paphos in recent years that you may not have known. Such as...

Domingos Quina

At 19 years and 27 days, Domingos Quina is @WatfordFC's youngest-ever #PL goalscorer pic.twitter.com/P9Bu1jrU5C

— Premier League (@premierleague) December 15, 2018

God, remember him? Maybe I'm too chronically online as my main memory of him stems from being a wonderkid back in old FIFA games, but my love for him as a result of his performances in my Mansfield Town career now knows no bounds.

In reality, he was tipped to be the hounds knackers when he was a young prodigy at West Ham back in the day as well. He made his debut for the club in the Europa League at the tender age of just 16 years old and had been tipped for very big things indeed owing to a glittering array of performances for the Hammers' academy.

His move at 18 to Watford was supposed to be the making of him, and he became their youngest-ever Premier League goalscorer. But that was about it for him, sadly, besides a bullet of a goal against Reading in the League Cup.

Poor loans to the likes of Granada, Fulham, Barnsley and Rotherham (getting bleaker by the club) eventually saw him sold to Udinese with little time left on his contract. When that didn't work either, Cyprus came calling. He's been great for them though, thankfully, netting six goals from 22 league starts last season as Paphos lifted the King's Cup.

Ken Sema

By far, the best post-match interview of last season. 🎙️

Watford’s Ken Sema scored two, including the winner against West Brom and he very bravely came out to conduct his interview even though he suffers from a stammer.

Legend on and off the pitch. 🇸🇪❤️ pic.twitter.com/JW2jfrSNDf

— Football Tweet ⚽ (@Footballtweet) July 22, 2023

The above clip warms my cold soul every time it pops onto the timeline (despite Elon's bots doing their best to remove the emotion and warmth from it thanks to their relentless pursuit of the £1.87 engagement payout).

The Swedish winger, who played 15 minutes overall for Sweden at the ongoing World Cup, made headlines for that above interview clip after he netted a brace against West Brom, bravely battling against his stammer to provide a post-match interview that heightened awareness of the condition admirably.

And on top of that, he's a bloody good player as well. He made 176 apperances for Watford overall with 35 of them coming in the Premier League as a stalwart of the club. These days, he's another memorable name making up the list of "ohhh, I remember him" talents plugging away in the Cypriot top flight.

Ivan Sunjic

On this day in 2019… 🗓

Ivan Sunjic unleashed this rocket for Birmingham 🚀🇭🇷#BCFC
pic.twitter.com/wMiCEqdsrw

— Second Tier podcast (@secondtierpod) September 28, 2021

I'm a Forest fan, so naturally I had to include his cracker of a goal against the sheep.

Capped once for Croatia at senior level and multiple times as a youngster, the Bosnian-born midfielder was also out at the World Cup with the country of his birth. But I'm sure Birmingham City fans will remember him well. As will I, again for reasons owing to FIFA.

He spent five successful years on the books of the Blues during their Championship hopes of the late 2010's, split by a year on loan in the Bundesliga with Hertha Berlin, and was as combative and tough a midfielder as I've ever seen. I remember one particular instance when he absolutely nailed Adama Diakhaby against us. Fond memories (not of Diakhaby, good lord).

So yes, to wrap up, Cypriot football is gathering a touch more attention recently, especially with Paphos surviving last season's qualifying rounds to make it to the league phase of the Champions League in their first-ever innings, eliminating the likes of Red Star Belgrade along the way. I was on holiday in Paphos at the time and tried to get tickets but the bastards wouldn't let me in. But still, I love them and I love David Luiz.

Even if he does put his condoms on the wrong head.