England 1-2 Argentina: Southgate, Tuchel. Potato, potato. Tomato, tomato

We're Out, and We Have Learned Nothing

The end. The end. Make sense of that.

Considering Mr Tuchel had the balls to criticise Southgate for being 'scared to lose' when the German first took over, that couldn't really have gone much worse, could it?

In fact, with that result, England have become only the second side in World Cup history to score first in a semi final and not go through. Guess who the other was... that's right, us vs Croatia in 2018.

That genuinely felt more like a sabotage mission than a proper attempt to go and win the game. I mean seriously, who in their right mind takes a man out of midfield when your opposition has the single best footballer to ever grace a pitch playing in there? Especially considering WE WERE AHEAD.

The magic midget ran the game from the moment Gordon scored and there's nothing any of the English players could do about it. Why? Because of Tuchel's set up.

Quality strike from Enzo Fernandez but that was the 14th effort he'd had, seemed like the gameplan was simply to let him lick shots at Pickford's goal until he eventually found the net.

It also came from an Argentina corner routine they'd seemingly already done 600 times and we'd failed to deal with every time... school boy stuff.

Poor defending for the second too, but what do you expect when your defenders are being asked to defend balls from inside their own six yard box because of how deep the line is.

It comes to something when your substitutions have been so bad that you inevitably go behind and your only option to get back into the game is sticking Dan Burn up top for the last 5 minutes.

I don't know what I could possible have done in a previous life to be given Newcastle United and England to support, but it must have been some Ghengis Khan level stuff.

But on the upside from an English perspective, the FA will probably sack Tuchel and appoint Eddie Howe instead now...Yes, that was sarcasm. Just a quick heads up if that does happen as is being speculated right now - you'll see a whole lot more of where tonight came from.

Reckon it's about time we scrap the whole its coming home malarkey. I'm really not sure it ever is.

You know it's bad when I couldn't even bring myself to make jokes...