Switzerland (4)0-0(3) Colombia- 2026 World Cup Match Report and Player Ratings

Swiss Swiss bish, Colombia in a casket (yes, that is a Katy Perry pun)

Switzerland vs Colombia. Europe vs South America. Toblerone vs... well... cocaine?

It was a game that, in principle looked all set to be a intriguing clash between two upper echelon, second rate footballing nations.

In reality, it was intriguing, but not exactly the barnstorming, uncertainty inducing affair that we have witnessed so often already throughout this World Cup.

It was a game short on real chances, with a combined five shots on target despite the 22 shots that were had across the game. Any danger of finding your shooting boots, lads?

Extra time brought the most exciting of action, with a couple of decent opportunities falling. Amdouni saw his first half effort repelled expertly by Ruben Vargas before Jaminton Campaz blazed over in a last gasp chance in the 119th minute (Campaz more like Campass, am I right?).

The penalty shootout finally brought a rather fitting end to the game given the prior 120 minutes was all on a knife edge.

Groundhog day for two centre backs in Manuel Akanji and Davinson Sanchez who both missed penalties at a major tournament for the second time respectively. Akanji's specifically was a horrendous spot kick, had it been at the Azteca it certainly would have exited the earth's orbit.

The final missed kick of the tie was courtesy of Cucho Hernandez who, in fairness, did strike the ball well but saw Gergor Kobel spring across his goal and pluck it out of the air as easy as you like. Real badman.

The final pressure fell on the shoulders of Ruben Vargas but the Sevilla man kept his PSI under control and slotted away coolly to win the tie for the Alp inhabitors who advanced to the round of 16.

Moral of the story: don't do drugs kids, eat chocolate instead... apparently.