50 Funny Football Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Subconsciously, many of us have adopted some iconic footballing quotes into our daily vocabulary.

From Neil Warnock to Lucas Leiva, the niche humorous verses never fail to amuse. A lot of the quotes come unintentionally – players, managers or pundits just speaking about the game or doing media promotions yet see their words be converted into a global ‘meme.’

Social media has completely blown footballing humour out of proportion as well, as pages continue to quote the comical one-liners and adapt them into different contexts.

There is an aura about footballers that seems so robotic and inhumane, that any little break of character from them cracks us up.

So, without further ado, here are 50 of the funniest football quotes…

Classic Manager Quotes

It is the managers that usually steal the headlines for their comedic quotes, which end up on repeat amongst social media posts and comments. This is mainly due to the men on the touchline being the most present in post-match interviews – which are the birthplace for golden quotes.

“I am José Mourinho” – José Mourinho

The quote tells itself.

Once used by the two-time Champions League winner in an iconic advert for Topps Stickers. But now adopted my many to exaggerate a smart move or piece of genius.

"I am José Mourinho. I turn good players into great players and great teams into champions."

All facts.pic.twitter.com/Ud9UTAs54l

— IM🇵🇹 (@Iconic_Mourinho) April 6, 2022

“have a f###ing word with him then ref” – Neil Warnock

A very passionate exclamative used by one of England’s most iconic managers Neil Warnock, behind the scenes of a documentary about him and Sheffield United.

Now memorised as a laughable event, due to the ill-tempered nature of the quote.

“He could have been killed” - Sir Alex Ferguson

A prime example of post-match interview head-loss, as Sir Alex expressed his confusion regarding a dangerous tackle from the other team. The exaggeration of the quote has now added comedic value to the term.

“This is football heritage” – José Mourinho

“It can’t go on like this can it?” “It can” – Mick McCarthy

A fresh quote on the scene, that has started being imitated all the time across social media and daily conversation. At the time, it was Mick McCarthy’s response to a question about Blackpool’s poor run of form.

Me: It can't get colder than this
Mick McCarthy: pic.twitter.com/0AeZ7sz6JY

— some guy (@floydb87) November 21, 2024

“I prefer not to speak - if I speak, I am in big trouble” – José Mourinho

Another vintage expression from Mourinho, as he opted to avoid potentially getting into trouble regarding a question about poor refereeing. Now used by football fans in similar contexts.

“The game’s gone” – Paul Ince, Sean Dyche, Ange Postecoglou & co

One of the only terms on this list that has been recited by a plethora of coaches.

It is also a term that get used countless times by football fans all over the globe to describe an event, decision or action that has made the sport more ludicrous.

“More than you believe I’m happy, more than you believe” – Pep Guardiola

Pep reassured the interviewee of his happiness after a league win, but his face said otherwise.

“Broke down” – “Wouldn’t go any further” – Mick McCarthy

A short but sweet answer from McCarthy, but this time in response to a question surrounding what happened to his team bus prior to the game. His witty response caught a barrel of laughs in the conference room.

“We cannot replace him” – Pep Guardiola

Managerial royalty Pep Gualdiola’s emotional farewell to club legend Sergio Aguero has been taken far out of context ever since, with many quoting the term for amusement.

It also gets used abundantly across social media with a playful caption to adjoin the clip.

“We cannot replace him.”

An emotional Pep Guardiola on the legacy of Sergio Aguero pic.twitter.com/I2ceqmmM1f

— FootballJOE (@FootballJOE) May 23, 2021

“Sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe sh#t” – Gennaro Gattuso

This was the Italian’s extremely honest and straightforward response in a press conference, when asked about his team’s performances.

With it being such an unfiltered response, it spiked plenty of laughs across the internet.

“Dilly ding, dilly dong” – Claudio Ranieri

A lighthearted phrase that former Leicester manager Claudio Ranieri uses to tell his players to wake up when they are not performing well.

It sparked plenty of media attention in the build up to the Foxes Premier League title win in 2016, as Ranieri discussed the saying amongst interviews and press conferences.

“I am not feeling the pressure, you cannot put pressure on me” – José Mourinho

“Good ebening” – Unai Emery

A phrase that has gone viral all over the internet, at the expense of Aston Villa manager’s pronunciation of ‘Good evening.’

“You’ve got to f###ing die for 3 points” – Neil Warnock

Another classic Warnock quote, pinched from his documentary all of them years back. One that ignites laughter through its traditional footballing nature and relatability.

“Utter woke nonsense” – Sean Dyche

To beggars' belief, those words did not actually originate from Sean Dyche. However, it was too iconic not to include.

It is a phrase similar to ‘the games gone’ in which has been associated with Dyche and used all over football media to describe something that diverges from regular football traditions.

🗣️ Sean Dyche: "I was at Northampton the other day, and this young kid comes up to me and says: 'Sean, can you just say utter woke nonsense?' I told him: Absolutely not son... He was gutted." 😂 pic.twitter.com/fClKngHuDb

— PurelyFootball ℗ (@PurelyFootball) March 24, 2025

“I’m rapidly falling out of love with football” – John Coleman

Another one originating from post-match disappointment, now used in many contexts due to its wide variety of uses.

Player Blunders and Brilliant One-Liners

“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s match day” – Ngolo Kante

Superb match day promo, quoted still to this day due to the likening of the Frenchman.

“Let me talk” – Kevin De Bruyne

A moment of despair from De Bruyne that was caught behind the scenes but now laughed at by many.

“Unlucky” – Lucas Leiva

Whilst this quote cannot be referenced without Lucas’ Brazilian twang, the one-liner on Liverpool’s YouTube channel almost a decade ago is still used in GIFs and memes today.

Just a compilation of Lucas Leiva saying unlucky pic.twitter.com/SmzGWHUcpf

— Sully (Mo Kudus stan account) 🇺🇬 (@Yalsully) October 15, 2019

“Ooo Danish friends” – Jamie Vardy

Mocking his own teammates in the pre-match tunnel – the Jamie Vardy we all know and love.

“You know chippy chips” – Cole Palmer

With Cole Palmer’s fantastic rise through Premier League football, the Chelsea man caught the eye of many – and not just for his excellent ability.

The media coverage Palmer immersed himself in displayed the midfielder’s unintentional humour, through the amusing responses he would blurt out – such as this one, as he discussed his Chinese takeaway order.

“Yo, you alright Neymar it’s sunny innit” – Jesse Lingard

This was Lingard’s hysterical reenactment of Marcus Rashford’s weather chat with Neymar Jr.

“I’m staying” – Sol Campbell

Still a sore one for all Tottenham fans, as Sol Campbell assured his keep but then moved across to arch-rivals Arsenal shortly after.

“Stay humble eh” – Erling Haaland

A fiery response from the Norwegian aimed at Mikel Arteta after Man City salvaged a 2-2 draw against the Gunners, but it soon came back to bite.

Stay humble eh 😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/iXVHhz6nw3

— V (@TheRetroVay) July 1, 2025

“We shared the stage for 15 years, me and him” – Cristiano Ronaldo

An iconic line in the Messi vs Ronaldo debate.

“I think sometimes in the life I am too competitive” – Kylian Mbappe

I do not think many of us expected Kylian Mbappe’s accent to sound like it did when he stated this quote.

“You want some chicken lad?” – Fabinho

Not many have nailed the Scouse accent as well as Brazilian midfielder Fabinho in their time.

“I love syrup” – Demba Ba

Probably the most random quote on this list and one that still has very little explanation.

Pundit and Commentary Gold

“That was the banker, the one that has never failed” – Gary Neville

There is a long list of prominent sayings that Neville has come out with since making the transition to punditry and this is one of them, as he described an event which unexpectedly failed.

“19 goals in 40 appearances, if you do the maths that’s about a goal a game” - Eni Aluko

A huge punditry blunder, which Eni Aluko may never live down.

Eni Aluko: ‘Richarlison has 19 goals in 40 games, you do the math that’s a goal a game’ pic.twitter.com/szZpAi5Cpb

— Sunday League (@SundayShoutsFC) December 6, 2022

“What a big baby – baby” – Roy Keane

It is fair to say that Roy Keane wasn’t happy with Andy Robertson’s diving antics. However, it did not stop the whole punditry box from bursting out with laughter.

“Whoever’s involved in this – stop – because you’re ruining football” – Jamie Carragher

Another quote similar to some of the managerial ones, as Carragher expressed his disagreement with VAR. This caused his commentary saying to go viral and place itself upon many memes.

“I can see what he is doing, he is cooking” – Thierry Henry

Amidst CBS’ playful coverage of the Champions League, Henry included a reference already cropping up all over social media – which influenced many to use it more.

“I nearly broke Nani’s leg” – Jamie Carragher

“I might just smash into someone, just to make me feel better” – Roy Keane

Just Roy Keane heritage - no cares given.

“People try to make comparisons about who is better. Just enjoy them man” – Rio Ferdinand

Another reference often taken out of context, as Rio Ferdinand discussed the Messi vs Ronaldo debate.

Rio Ferdinand was and still is a real one. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/PJj1zvnLWl

— TCR. (@TeamCRonaldo) July 4, 2025

“I burst onto the scene” – Micah Richards

Whilst the former Man City man certainly hit English football early doors, his enthusiastic reflection of himself certainly cracked up Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.

“If we just pause it there” – Jamie Carragher

Jamie Carragher’s signature phrase when analysing match footage is another one of his quotes that is abundantly used for other scenarios, in both real life and on social media.

“Leave the football before the football leaves you” – Jamie Carragher

Following the exact same philosophy as his previous quotes, it is fair to say that Carragher is a football ‘troll’ page’s dream when it comes to templates.

This time, the former Liverpool defender was discussing Cristiano Ronaldo’s poor form with Manchester United.

“He wants to be the star too often” – Garth Crooks

“94, 95, 96 - no, 95, 96, 97 I’d say” – Gary Neville

Gary Neville quizzing himself as to what years were Manchester United and Englands period of success. However, now a quote that is used for everything but that origin.

“Oh, we’ll have a look, course we’ll have a look” – Steve McManaman

Another viral term that is new on the scene, taken from Steve McManaman’s Champions League commentary regarding a controversial VAR decision.

OH MY WORD WE’LL HAVE A LOOK. OF COURSE WE’LL HAVE A LOOK. https://t.co/v0z2U7fSin pic.twitter.com/VHXbKe7dMe

— The Redmen TV (@TheRedmenTV) May 19, 2025

“Ah, jeez really?” – Roy Keane

A pretty standard Keane response, as Carragher refused to put Ryan Giggs in his all-time Premier League XI.

“Ballon d’Or, Ballon d’Or Ballon d’Or” – Rio Ferdinand

It is fair to say Rio wanted Vinicius Jr to win the Ballon d’Or.

“Inter Milan are playing tomorrow, Internazionale” – Jamie Carragher

Another unserious CBS moment, as Carragher’s attempt at the Italian dialect sent the studio into hysterics.

“When they don’t score, they hardly ever win” – Michael Owen

“We have a red card but for who Chris Kamara?” “I don’t know Jeff” – Chris Kamara

Probably one of football’s funniest moments, as Chris Kamara failing to catch the red card offence that occurred during a match he was reporting on never gets old.

8 years ago today Chris Kamara missed that red card at Portsmouth. 😂
Happy #StKamaraDay everyone! pic.twitter.com/cT3QuFVN5I

— Soccer AM (@SoccerAM) April 3, 2018

“He may have actually picked the wrong club” – Jamie Carragher

Social Media and Modern Football Humour

The vast use of social media has made it extremely easy to pull quotes from the sport and take them out of context, making them ever more hilarious.

The way content and news are spread across media platforms is very creative and lighthearted. Twitter is used heavily for GIFs in the football scene, as so called ‘memes’ which often reach their target audience. On both Instagram and TikTok, the famous quotes are clipped and often displayed with different, relatable captions, which many find amusing.

A lot of the quotes listed above have been referenced so much across social media, that many people may not even be aware of where they originally came from. However, the sayings still manage to find themselves sneaking into people’s day-to-day vocabulary.

Why Football Produces Such Great Quotes

Football is well and truly engulfed within the media. Furthermore, a lot of its fans share a very similar sense of humour, which goes hand-in-hand with the popular quotes from the sport.

The way football makes people so passionate sparks pure gold from those who we watch the most, as they spontaneously react to dodgy decisions or unforgiving blunders.

Moreover, the emotional part to the game sometimes brings out the funny side in footballers, which we admire and relate to so much. This then feeds us with plenty of entertainment and bridges the gap between the people we see on television to the supporters who consume the sport.