What Would Premier League Managers Be If They Were Christmas Food?

What Would Premier League Managers Be If They Were Christmas Food?

20th: Rob Edwards - KFC

Right, now there's every chance you'll be looking at how I've started here and be wondering how on earth a Christmas food list has KFC on it – but just hear me out here.

KFC is the delicacy of choice in Japan on Christmas Day and is literally only a thing because of a marketing campaign carried out in the 1970s; for whatever reason, it is a tradition that has stuck since then.

I have to genuinely thank Rob Edwards for leaving

— Matthew Bye (@MatthewBye13) December 9, 2025

In Premier League terms, it's a bit of a 'Why is he there?' Similarly to if that KFC tradition was brought to English soil.

Everybody was a bit confused when Edwards swapped promotion-chasing Middlesbrough for a sinking ship at Wolves, and many just don't really understand either his decision or the appointment to bring him in to such a difficult-to-manage situation.

Nobody really dislikes him, and in other contexts he's great. But just like KFC at Christmas, the pieces of the puzzle just don't really fit.

Fair play if you managed to follow that… It only gets worse from here.

19th: Scott Parker – Applesauce

Scott Parker is a bit of a difficult one, but for me, Applesauce fits him well.

Got a bit of sophistication to him, but not as flairy as his cranberry counterpart (which we'll get to later).

It isn't bad, but not too much would change without him at the helm if he were ever removed from his position.

Just kind of there, which isn't a dig necessarily because I don't think he's bad – he's just not that important.

18th: Nuno Espirito Santo – Carrots

Nuno Espirito Santo has been a staple of Premier League management for a good while now, in a similar way to the carrot being a traditional part of the Christmas dinner.

I actually think you'd notice if there weren't carrots on your plate, just like I think you'd notice if Nuno wasn't in the league – but it'd be more of an 'oh no… anyway' than anything to get seriously upset about.

Just like a perfectly cooked carrot, Nuno is a good, solid option which does add nicely to your plate, but it isn't anything special.

17th: Sean Dyche – Christmas Pudding

Sean Dyche, none of this new school nonsense like meringue or yule log.

Just a good, old-fashioned and traditional Christmas dessert to satisfy the needs of everyone.

Dyche is one of those who will likely be overtaken by his more youthful counterparts as football continues to progress, just like the Christmas pudding will likely fade into the background as the modern take on dessert comes to the fore.

But if called upon, will always do you a solid job and never looks out of place.

16th: Daniel Farke - Marie Rose Sauce

Now this one isn't really a food, more a garnish which adds to a starter… In some people's opinion anyway.

The sauce makes up the cocktail part of a prawn cocktail and fits perfectly with Daniel Farke, as it just doesn't really make the dish much better – but maybe that's just for me.

The dish likely wouldn't be any worse off without the sauce compared to with it, similarly to how Leeds would probably be in a similar position without Farke.

A few good performances have probably saved his bacon so far, and if he were no longer part of the club, it probably wouldn't be too much of a disappointment to, well, anyone really.

He's got Marie Rose sauce written all over him.

15th: Marco Silva – Cranberry Sauce

I mentioned Parker was the applesauce earlier; well, Silva is definitely the cranberry.

Fulham are a pretty nothing Premier League club as far as I'm concerned; take them out and replace them with someone else, and I don't think anyone (bar Fulham fans) would be too bothered.

But add Marco Silva into the mix, who has done a stellar job at the London club, and Fulham just have that bit more substance.

A bit of flair and flavour turns something mediocre into something enticing, just like cranberry sauce does.

The more fashionable, exotic distant cousin of applesauce and Scott Parker – enjoy that one, Marco.

14th: Keith Andrews – Nut Roast

Not the most glamorous option, and many downplayed him due to their alternative preferences, but thus far at least, Andrews has served his purpose well, just like a nut roast.

Whether those early performances will continue is yet to be seen, and maybe he will never get the entire footballing world on board after the success of his predecessor, but in his own little realm, which in the case of a nut roast would be vegetarians, he could well become a legend if he keeps this up.

If you couldn't tell, I struggled a bit with Mr Andrews…

13th: Andoni Iraola - Leftovers

Bear with me here.

On Christmas Day, seeing that dinner plate land on the table in front of you evokes an emotion that can only be described as pure elation, in a similar manner to the excellent job Iraola did with Bournemouth last year.

Bournemouth boss, Andoni Iraola running the line at his daughter's football match 😍

(via Merley FC) pic.twitter.com/uVyJDRJPuR

— ESPN UK (@ESPNUK) November 3, 2025

But, as you wake up on Boxing Day and trudge downstairs to the kitchen, you are met with the delightful sight of the leftovers strewn about the kitchen. A bit like Iraola's start to the season, which has seen them prove the doubters wrong, to the delight of their fans.

And yes, on the surface, leftovers may appear like I've done Iraola a bit of a disservice here…

But leftovers are seriously underrated, and in my opinion, one of the best things about Christmas grub – just like Iraola in the Premier League.

12th: Eddie Howe - Gravy

Gravy isn't the most glamorous or the most talked about, but what it does do is elevate everything it touches to a new level and pull everything together nicely.

Eddie Howe isn't glamorous (unless you're a Newcastle fan) or the most talked about, but what he does do is elevate players to a new level and pull everything together nicely.

Gravy and Eddie Howe are a match made in 'Premier League managers as Christmas food' heaven.

11th: Thomas Frank – Yorkshire Puddings

Yorkshire puddings are an absolutely elite cuisine in their field of Sunday dinners, but opinion is split as to whether they have what it takes or should be included in the big leagues of a Christmas dinner.

During Thomas Frank's time at Brentford, the job he did was exceptional. But since his promotion to a top-six team playing Champions League football, the jury is still out on whether he should be in a job at the highest level.

The managerial quality is there, but he hasn't quite got everyone on side yet in his new position, in a very similar way to a Yorkshire pudding on the Christmas plate.

10th: Arne Slot - Stuffing

Stuffing arguably had its best year last season and, for me personally, has seen a big drop-off as we move closer to the all-important day this year.

It is one of those foods that, when you get it spot on, can be up there with the very best. But when you get it wrong, the door is left open for disaster, and it can become a calamity.

Does that remind you of anyone? Arne Slot at Liverpool, maybe?

The only caveat to this one is that Slot is much closer to a sacking than stuffing is to being removed from a Christmas dinner.

9th: Regis Le Bris

Almost as if it's in the name, isn't it?

But seriously, Regis Le Bris just is a cheese board.

Built his squad using a good chunk of cash this summer and accumulated a wide variety of players from a wide variety of places.

His managerial style has a bit of class to it and a lot of versatility, often outperforming what is expected of him, like he has done this season with his Sunderland side.

Just when you think you're done, Regis le Bris just doesn't know when to quit – just like a post-meal cheese and crackers session.

8th: Fabian Hurzeler - Cauliflower Cheese

Hurzeler is a young, exciting manager in the midst of establishing himself at the top level.

A versatile system but one that catches the eye and leaves you wanting more, the question isn't if he will go far, but just how far he will go.

Fabian Hurzeler marks his 100th professional game as manager today 👏

He’s still only 32 🤯 pic.twitter.com/hWGQSsbDXx

— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) November 9, 2025

These two both show that youth and exuberance can rival even the most experienced of counterparts, and I think they are the perfect pair for this concept.

7th: David Moyes - Roasties

David Moyes being a roast potato just feels right.

Has the longevity to rival any and is one of those traditional staples which have defined their realm for as long as they've been in the game.

Put roasties on a plate, or David Moyes in the dugout, and you know what you're going to get – just a successful performance that you can have no complaints about.

6th: Ruben Amorim - Brussels Sprouts

Brussels sprouts are the Marmite of the Christmas dinner world. You either love them, or you hate them.

For me, Ruben Amorim has the same effect. For the early stages of his tenure, it must be said that it was mainly opposition fans who loved him due to Manchester United's poor performances.

But in recent times that has begun to shift, and as much as opinion is still split amongst the Man United fanbase, with many still wanting Amorim out, there is now a good chunk of fans who are backing their gaffer to continue in the job.

5th: Enzo Maresca – Mulled Wine

Okay, okay. Mulled wine isn't a food, but it is a staple of Christmas, so you're just going to have to let me off.

Enzo Maresca is actually from the same country that mulled wine originates in, Italy – but that isn't why they are paired up here, or at least not entirely.

Maresca is spicy, just like mulled wine, with players like Raheem Sterling and Axel Disasi happily kicked to the kerb in favour of reducing the size of his squad.

He also splits opinion, with Chelsea fans still unsure if he's actually the right man to take them forward. He is slowly but surely endearing himself to the masses but still isn't quite at that level for some.

4th: Oliver Glasner - Advent Calendar Chocolate

For Crystal Palace specifically, Glasner is the sort of manager you wake up every day buzzing that you get to have at your club.

You probably know where this is going, but waking up every morning and getting to eat that little piece of goodness that is advent calendar chocolate gives you a very similar feeling.

For some reason, it just hits different.

But, in a similar way to how Palace feels with Glasner, you know at some point your advent calendar is going to come to an end.

Sad, but true.

3rd: Unai Emery - Mince Pie

Aston Villa's Unai Emery is undoubtedly one of the best managers in the league, just like mince pies are one of the best Christmas cuisines.

Sometimes they have a slow start to the festive period in terms of consumption, but once people start buying, they shoot off the shelves, like Villa shot up the table after their poor start to the season this year.

Versatile and can be tried in a variety of different combinations, with each keeping up the quality of the last.

What a combination this is.

2nd: Pep Guardiola - Meat

I thought about specifying Turkey, but that would take away from the reason Pep is the meat.

People often have multiple different meats on their Christmas dinner, and when you look in Pep's trophy cabinet, the array of trophies matches that magnitude.

A Christmas dinner would not be the same without the meat; in fact, the entire landscape would be different, and with the way Pep has shaped football over the last couple of decades, I thought it was only right that he took the role of most important here.

1st: Mikel Arteta – Pigs in Blankets

Both have been near the top step for the past few seasons but haven't quite been able to take the crown in their respective departments.

Each has a history of falling apart, whether it be Arteta toward the back end of the season or the bacon unravelling itself from the sausage in the heat of the oven.

Should Arsenal manage to consolidate their current table-topping form and win the division, Arteta could soon be considered the top current manager in the Premier League.